Their Predictions
by Crimson Orient
Summary: Everyone from the tournament stays in the Mishima mansion and that's when the party gets FUNKY! Chp 6: Asuka and Paul comes in! R and R. BWAHAHA!
1. Naughty People

**A/N:Laugh you heart out, my darlings!**

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_**Their Predictions**_

_**By: Elie**_

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After the fifth Iron Fist, all the fighters once again gathered in the Mishima Mansion for the traditional **'after the tournament gathering'** - uh, slumber party - hosted by the still undead, still ugly, and always shirtless - Heihachi Mishima!

"Uh…Is this on? Mic test -" Heihachi, tonight's slumber party host, said while tapping the damn microphone – knowing it is on (obviously, just to get people's attention) – um…and maybe he's just too dumb.

"Isn't it obvious?" Paul shouted - who was seating next to Nina - hoping that she would approve of his request for her to assassinate Panda. (A/N: You'll know why later)

Heihachi grew red – because for the first time – Paul Phoenix, his secretive crush for let's say, 20 years, had uh, finally spoke to him "Um, yeah - I guess it is…"

Well, on to business.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are all gathered here today for our traditional **'after the tournament slumber escapade'** – now, let us spend our night doing naughty things – ah what I mean is, special things that would remind us of are company…forever." Heihachi sobbed a little, and one of his tekkenshu patted his back to comfort him.

"What a speech - uh, speaking of naughty…" Hwoarang snickered while sharing glances with Julia - who was toying with her glasses over her cleavage.

Well, back to Heihachi.

He wiped the last remaining tears and finally tried to form his composure once more while blinking his tear shot eyes.

"Of course the celebration isn't all that – we are also here to celebrate my being not dead!" Heihachi laughed like a total mad ass, leaving the fighters even the tekkenshu - silent.

'Hic! Uh, sorry - hic!" After a big ass laugh, Heihachi had hiccups making the crowd grow even more silent.

5 minutes later - still, there was intense silence.

Silence

No sound

Mute

Someone coughed!

It was Yoshimitsu.

"Sorry, I was diagnosed of **Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome** yesterday, and my doc said that it's highly contagious!" He coughed powerfully again – and it made everyone sprang from their seats and hide under the tables.

Heihachi dove down on his knees with the microphone on top of his head like a shield. Unable to witness Yoshimitsu's saliva gushing out every time he coughed, Heihachi ordered on of the tekkenshu to dispatch Yoshimitsu once and for all.

Yoshimitsu wanted still to join in the party but he's got SARS for the love of God! Soon, two tekkenshus grabbed his shoulders, led him to a wide balcony facing a magnificent mountain range and a deep river below, and, hurled him down.

When the tekkenshus arrived without Yoshimitsu, everybody got up form under the tables and seated themselves comfortably again.

Heihachi sighed. He took a second first and then said, "So…I'm not dead!"

Everyone remained silent as usual, until -

Kazuya stood from his seat and shouted, "BOO!"

Heihachi's face started to burn. "Shut up traitor! I don't need your opinion!"

"Huh, I gave no opinion." Kazuya whispered to Marshall.

Heihachi shrugged and shook his head in dismay. "Look, I'm sick of this!" He threw the microphone over the wall and ran like a sissy bitch, and then -

The crowd goes wild! Except for Xiaoyu…

"Aww…poor fart…"Xiaoyu said, putting her finger on her pouting lips. She then turned her attention towards Jin - who was with Steve.

"Oh, Jinny! Long time no see!" She shouted at him, making him notice her.

"Xiao, is that you? Oh, momma!" He shouted back, while standing from his seat.

Xiao came running toward him. "Yup it's me!"

"Uh-oh…the hug…I don't want that hug!" Jin's eyes looked at Steve, mortified.

"Um, I don't see what wrong." Steve replied casually, not paying attention to his friend. He was busy looking at Nina who was fast approaching their table.

Xiao jumped at Jin, clasped her hands around his neck and circled her feet around his waist. "Jin I've missed you!"

"That's the hug…" Jin sighed, looking at Xiao - who was giving him wide puppy eyes.

"Wow Xiao, look at you…you look great!"

Xiao giggled, moving her hands in his smooth, silky hair.

"Now my boobs got much bigger!" She squealed, pressing harder into Jin's chest, making him feel hers.

Jin looked at Steve, and gave him a 'thumbs up', then he stared at Xiao and whispered, "Uh, how old are you Xiao?"

"I'm 18! Hooray!" She happily cried.

Jin raised an eyebrow.

Xiao eventually sighed. "I can't go to the Barney's show now…they only allow 17 year olds!" she tightened her grip around Jin's neck – almost suffocating him.

"I-can't-breath!" He chocked, and then swiftly removed her hand, making himself exhale with a loud huff.

"Get to your point Kazama!" She shouted at him.

"Well, I'm glad to know you're 18, coz' that means your legal to…ya know what I mean," He grinned.

"Oh…" Xiao's eyes widened like that of an innocent child's, "Let's go to my room!"

Xiaoyu got off Jin and grabbed his hand to follow her. With a matter of seconds, they left the room with all the rest of the characters, drunk, wrestling, and somewhat moaning…leave that to Hwoarang and Julia.

…

Steve grinned as Nina took a seat where Jin was supposed to be.

"Heya sexy!" he growled, while Nina just stared at him with awe and longing.

He just rolled his eyes and said, "So do you think I'm also hot?"

Then unexpectedly, Nina grabbed him to her and held him tight in an embrace.

"What the shit?" Steve grumbled.

"Oh my little baby! You've grown up to be such a pretty boy!" Nina happily cried out, and led the other fighter's attention to them.

"Uh…I don't get it…" Steve scowled in confusion.

"I conceived you during some kind of experiment thingy and so here you are!" O, you're so grown up already!" Nina still nuzzled Steve tight.

"Oh…" Steve said in disappointment, he was thinking of asking her own mother out for a date, maybe even in bed, if she hadn't came up to him to told the damn truth!

Meanwhile, after minutes of hugging, Nina pulled away and patted Steve's head, and shook her head in a feeblish manner.

"If only you had a father…I mean, if only I knew your father!" She confessed.

"What! You didn't know who my father was!" Steve asked horrified. "Just spit it out, woman!"

"Well, if you ask me, I'd pick Kazuya, but he got Jun pregnant in the first place! Gunjack's okay…no wait, he's a robot! I'd prefer Bruce for a change—"

After covering his ears, Steve shouted, "Mum!"

"I am your father Steve…" A voice behind the two said. They turned behind them and saw – Lei Wulong.

…

"Eddy I'm pregnant!" Christie cried, leaning over her boyfriend's shoulder.

"Then let's get married after you bail me out in jail after this slumber party, it's simple baby!" He jeered, remembering that the police is gonna pick him up right in the morning. He shrugged, picking out some weeds in his torso, and giving some to Christie.

…

"Hey Paul, do you know that my Heihachi has a crush on you?" Kazuya revealed.

"What?" Paul asked in shock, with disappointment in his teary eyes. Then he stared at Kuma who was still trying to impress Panda on another table.

"What's wrong?" Kazuya asked, wiping Paul's tears himself.

"Just between you and me, man." Paul whispered to Kazuya.

"What could that be?" He asked.

"I'm in love with Kuma ever since my eyes laid on him…But it seem like we're rivals because that's the only way I can be near him to make us closer…and eventually an item!" Paul squealed in delight, and then began shaking his ass.

As for Kazuya, well he stared at the booty shaking Paul for a moment, and glared at him, managing not to cry.

…

Will Heihachi come back again and tell his true feelings for Paul! Where the hell is Xiao and Jin! Will Julia's lips be swollen! Will Paul and Kazuya fight for one male bear! Christie is pregnant but still doing drugs! Nina and Lei equals Steve!

Find out if…you REVIEW!

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A/N: I don't think this is going to be a one-shot. Btw, this is revised.


	2. Heihachi's big makeover!

A/N: Here come the next Chappie! Thanks for the reviews so far…

o

Their Predictions

By: Elie

o

It was almost noontime and all the fighters are still asleep in their respective bedrooms in the mansion from last night's gig. But exclude Heihachi from it. Before he walked out last night, he planned to make his beauty sleep special…

9:00 am-Heihachi's Bedroom

HEIHACHI: 'opens his eyes and winces a little' What a beautiful morning! What! A BLACKOUT! I can't see a thing!

With that, he sat up his bed and began turning his head around like a zombie. Suddenly, a pickle fell down his eye!

HEIHACHI: 'stares at fallen pickle' Pickle for breakfast eh? But I want TUNA! Oh, the lights are on! Hey, what's this?

After touching his right eye, he caught another pickle!

HEHACHI: 'eats pickles' Mmm…I guess there weren't any available cucumber last night…

Therefore, after a lot of burpings and fartings, Heihachi walked in his bathroom, went to the sink and opened the faucet.

HEIHACHI: 'washes off facial cream from last night while singing, "Oh Paul baby, will you please love me…" song'

o

9:05 am- Kazuya's Bathroom

KAZUYA: 'singing "Kuma-matata" '

While rinsing the shampoo off his hair and switching into a new song, 'Hit me Kuma One More Time', Kazuya heard a morbid noise coming from the other side of the room, Heihachi's bathroom that is.

KAZUYA: 'stops singing another song called "Kill Paul Phoenix Hymn" ' What the fuck Heihachi!

HEIHACHI (From the other side): What was that boy! You're completely interrupting me you good for nothing son!

KAZUYA: 'dries self' Shut the fuck up old gay!

HEIHACHI (From the other side): MAKE ME! 'Sticks out tongue'

KAZUYA: Wait till I finish grooming my self and I'm gonna take off your guts!

HIHACHI (From the other side): I'm waiting PRETTY BOY!

KAZUYA: 'thinks: SICK INCEST FATHER!' 'Shivers'

o

9:20 am- Heihachi's bedroom

HEIHACHI: 'Adds final tint of cherry blush on his left cheek' There almost finish!

KNOCK! KNOCK!

HEIHACHI: Just come in you idiot!

All of a sudden, Kazuya barged into the door, dressed in his purple-robe-coat-something.

KAZUYA: Did I mention I'm gonna shut the hell out of ya?

HEIHACHI: 'drops make-up kit, screaming like a little girl'

KAZUYA: 'Covers ears' Arghh! Now you're pissing me off you fart! 'Grabs Heihachi on the collar'

HEIHACHI: What the? 'Stares at Kazuya's clothes'

Kazuya: 'blushes'

HEIHACHI: Hey, what are you doing with my old coat? You're supposed to buy a new one!

KAZUYA: Well, I bought this on e-bay…

HEIHACHI: 'thinks: Hey, I did sell this on e-bay! Or…was it Amazon?' F-fine…

KAZUYA: 'Notices Heihachi's make-up' Fuck, What happened! You look like a corpse ready to be examined in the morgue!

HEIHACHI: 'Hides face' None of your business son…

KAZUYA: 'thinks: Heihachi can be my real living Barbie doll!'

HEIHACHI: Now let me go you faggot son of a--

KAZUYA: No, I'm gonna re-touch that make over of yours…

HEIHACHI: 'teary eyed' R-really!

KAZUYA: Just leave it all to me…

HEIHACHI: 'thinks: Maybe Paul will notice me…'

Then, Kazuya, armed with all the blow dryers, brushes, mascaras, lipsticks, and foundation, blah, blah, blah and POOF!

HEIHACHI: 'turns to face mirror via 'Princess Mia in the Princess Diaries' style and…SCREAMS along with Kazuya!

HEIHACHI and KAZUYA: GRANDMOTHER FUCKER?


	3. The Race!

**A/N:** Holla Amigos! **Their Predictions** is back! Haha! This fic is so weird that I as the author might be condemned. Thanks for the reviews for the previous chapter by the way! Haha! Overall: No comment whatsoever!

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Jin and Xiaoyu were happily walking outside in the lawn only clad in their bathrobes. Meanwhile, Kazuya just went past them but didn't forget to notice the two.

"What in the world did you two do?" He asked, a hand on his hip, making Jin quiver in disgust.

'Sick gay…' Jin thought. "None of your business dad."

"Uh…make miracles or babies? Which one Jinny?" Xiaoyu naively asked.

Jin felt like shrinking. Now Kazuya had caught him off guard!

"Ha! Now you're not a virgin anymore!" Kazuya laughed madly.

"So? You're not too!" Jin spat. On the other hand Xiao was just eyeing the two in wonder.

"Well I was raped by your hooker mother!" Kazuya yelled then mumbled, "Fucking son of a bitch…"

"Mom raped you? She was the prettiest girl I have ever seen and now you're telling me that she had raped you? Oh please!" Jin sneered.

Xiao stared at him in disbelief, placing both hands on her hips. "Jin Kazama, you said I was the prettiest girl you have ever seen! Why you moron!" She slapped him square on the face.

Kazuya blinked. Shaking his head, he said, "Yes, she did rape me!"

"No she did not!" Jin protested, now receiving a punch from Xiaoyu. He touched his swollen face and turned back to Kazuya. "How could she rape an ugly bastard like you who looks like a trash and an addict who was raped by an Ethiopian then traded for a one night stand to Osama Ben Laden!"

"I'd rather be raped by Osama Ben Laden and Ethiopians than your crazy mother!" Kazuya shouted, sticking out his tongue.

'Damn…' Jin thought, unable to think about any more words of wisdom to tell his father. Then an idea struck him!

"Hey dad! Why don't we play a game of WHOEVER KISSES KING WINS?" He yelled.

"Fine with me." Kazuya replied.

Xiaoyu stared at the both with wide eyes. Two complete father and son idiots ready to rumble!

"By the way…where should we kiss him?" Kazuya asked.

"Uh…" Jin hasn't thought of that but then to make it a bit of a challenge he said, "Square on the lips…using tongue!"

"What! I mean where?" Kazuya pretended not to hear.

"A French kiss you piece of shit!" Jin talked balk, pulling the startled Xiaoyu with him. "You better find him first than I do!"

"OH I WILL!" Kazuya shouted back, walking away. 'Forgive me Kuma…'

When Kazuya was gone, Xiaoyu pulled her hand from Jin and kicked him in the crotch. "You shit head! Why would you kiss that masked…masked…masked GIGGOLO instead of me!"

"But babe, it's just to prove who's…um…between me and my father." Jin replied, rolling on the ground back and forth in pain.

"You're about to say gayer huh? HUH?" Xaio sneered. "You're GAY!"

"HELL NO! Why would I have sex with a little girl-looking woman if I'm gay!" Jin immediately slapped his mouth when Xiao suddenly left him. 'Phew…I thought she's gonna kick my balls again!'

But Xiao came back driving a big bulldozer. "Ha! I'll kill you for what you said! I'm not a little girl! Look at the size of my BOOBS!"

'She has a point though…Jin thought as the bulldozer came fast in front of him. "AHHH!"

Behind the bushes, Kazuya was rolling on the ground in laughter. He knew he's gonna win. All he has to do is to find King. With that, he stood up and merrily went on a search.

Now…who will be the first to French kiss the masked man King? Will it be the handsome Jin Kazama or the handsome but gay Kazuya Mishima? Find out in the next chapter of this saga!

**TBC**

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**A/N:** Want more? Then REVIEW! Okay, gotta go update on my NORMAL stories…Buh-bye!


	4. Recruitment

**A/N:** Hello again! Thanks for the reviews last time. I owe you guys: YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Please enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think.

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Hwoarang and Julia were kissing each other passionately again on the bench in the lawn when Jin immediately ran up to them.

"Guys! I need your help! Xiao's riding a bulldozer and she's off to crush me!" Jin wailed while adjusting his bathrobe which was almost tattered.

"Why would I help you? You're my rival remember? And why would she hit you with a bulldozer? Like we care!" Hwoarang hissed, waving off Jin.

"Because I had sex with her last night and I have to stick with her all morning but I can't. Now she's mad! So come on guys, hide me!" Jin whined. But Hwoarang and Julia ignored him. "Shish! Get a room you two!"

Julia cut off the kiss and glared at him. "And you care because…."

"It's fucking disgusting!" Jin yelled. "Look at Hwoarang's saliva! It's all over your face!"

Julia wiped her face and glared at Hwoarang. "You idiot! I said no drooling while kissing! Now I smell like saliva!"

Hwoarang shrugged and said sorry. He stood up and faced Jin. "I want a fight with you Kazama. Last time, you said you won't be able to because you have to hide or something! Then again in this tournament, you still can't because you said you're gonna search for you poo-head great-grand pappy to destroy that stupid Satan gene! Now…what's your next excuse!"

"It's called Devil gene…D-E-V-I-L!" Jin spelled out.

Hwoarang repeated after him but made a mistake. "Neville Gene? The frog boy from Harry Potter?

"Do you even know how to spell!" Jin shouted.

"Of course I do you asshole!" Hwoarang spat back.

"Then spell the word RECEIVE!" Jin said and there was a look of triumph in his face.

'Smarty pants…' Hwoarang thought. He made up his mind and spelled: "R-E-C-I-E-V-E!"

"Wrong! You're OUT!" Jin laughed.

"Hey, this isn't a game show!" Julia butted.

"Suck my balls bitch. This is the 'man's show'!" Jin said. "Channel 22. Star Cable. As in JACK TV!"

"We're in a show?" Hwoarang asked, clueless of the current situation. "Where are the hidden cams?"

"What the fuck are you guys talking about? Honey, we should go!" Julia yelled.

"Wait a minute babe; I still have something in mind for Kazama." Hwoarang then went up to Jin and said: "When is our duel man? I'm fuckin' sick of waitin'!"

"How about a different fight?" Then Jin snickered in his mind. "Like…WHOEVER KISSES KING WINS!"

"Whoever kisses who!" Hwoarang gasped while Julia patted him on the shoulder. "God Jin…I'm not gay!"

"Come on…it'd be fun." Jin chuckled.

Julia laughed too. "Yeah honey…it's way better than getting bruises."

'_Yeah…a fight could give me bruises and it can damage my pretty skin. Oh wait! I can't believe I'm thinking like a…gay! No I'm not gay! Ahh!'_ Jin thought while Hwoarang poked him in the head. "What the fuck is wrong with that?"

"Okay Kazama, I have made my decision… I'll join your stupid mother fucker game!" Hwaoarang exclaimed, lifting Julia in the air in excitement.

"Uh…okay…so the competition will consist of you, me and my dad."

"Your dad? Kazuya's planning to kiss King too?" Hwoarang asked.

Julia interrupted, "There are rumors that he's gay. One time, they said he was so drunk then that he admitted having a crush on Heihachi's bear!"

"I know and that is so sick. Of all sperm…why his?" Jin sighed.

"He's still your goddamn father Jin. And Heihachi's you granddaddy and Jinpachi's your great granddaddy too. A chain of gays I'd say!" Hwoarang laughed.

"Shut up you Korean ass! On to the race!" Jin said as he ran ahead of Hwoarang.

"Hey, wait up!" Hwoarang yelled and turned to Julia who gave him a good luck kiss on the lips. "Bye babe, I'm sure to kiss that wrestler!"

"Just screw him honey!" Julia giggled, waving goodbye to Hwoarang.

Meanwhile, Xiaoyu got out of the bulldozer as soon as she saw Julia.

"Hey Jules, have you seen Jin?"

"Nope." Julia lied. "But he's with Hwoarang."

"You bitch!" Xiao shouted.

"Cat fight with me?" Julia snorted.

Xiao rolled her eyes. "Yeah right. No way." But to contrast, she… " Die you whore!"

Then as the two girls brawled on the grass, a bus stopped in front of them. The two stopped fighting as they watched a stunning looking woman move out of the vehicle. She has a shoulder-length hair that flowed smoothly with the air as well as her fit lavender dress. But at the end of the bus' stairs, she tripped and fell face first on the ground.

"Oh my…" Xiao gasped. "Let's go help her!"

Julia agreed and the two of them went to the lady. "Are you alright?"

"What do you think?" The lady sneered, crawling to stand.

The two martial artists faced each other in bewilderment then back to the woman.

"Can a bus enter the mansion without Heihachi's permission?" Julia asked.

"Umm…maybe the old fart became busy with his make up and stuff." Xiao replied.

"Hey, why would you two care if a bus arrived?" The lady finally stood up.

"Who are you?" Xiaoyu asked.

"Yeah and why do you look a bit like Jin?" Julia asked.

"Oh, my name is Jun Kazama…Kazuya Mishima is my husband, we're not officially married though. Jin is our offspring, and he blames me for that. Have you seen them anyway?" Jun said.

Xiao shook her head and pouted. "Mrs. Mishima, I truly hate your son! He's become gay and it's breaking my heart!" She said and immediately walked away.

"What's her problem?" Jun asked.

"Your son had sex with her last night and has to stick with her all morning but can't because he said he has some contest with his dad and dragged my boyfriend along with him to compete." Julia explained but Jun just rolled her eyes because she understood nothing at all.

"I'm going to find them!" Jun shouted.

"Oh, I'll come along…" Julia said happily, she checked first if there's any sign of Xiao then yelled, "Hey Xiao, we're going to find Jin, Kazuya and Hwoarang! Wanna come?"

Out of the blue, Xiaoyu re-appeared and clapped her hands. "Yuppie! I'm going!"

But Jun came in front of her, placing a hand on her hip. "You had sex with my son?"

"Uhh…" Xiaoyu started to sweat. "Yes?"

Then Jun squealed. "Oh! You look good. I'm sure the baby's going to look lovelier this time! Come on now; let's find your future husband, my husband, and that girls' boyfriend!"

Xiaoyu sweated even more while being dragged by Jun. "Righttt…"

"What's your name again?" Jun asked her.

"Ling Xiaoyu and that's Julia Chang." She pointed at Julia who's at the back.

Meanwhile, Kazuya bumped into his adopted brother, Lee Chaolan.

"Watch where you're going!" He barked.

Lee was donned in his swimming trunks with a towel on his shoulder. "I'm watching the pool over there so I'm really watching where I'm going!"

"I mean where you step!" Kazuya sighed. "Now out of my way! I still have to win this WHOEVER KISSES KING WINS competition!"

Upon hearing the name, Lee's eyes beamed. "King? Whoever kisses him first? What's the prize?"

"Glory." Kazuya replied.

"Can I keep him if I win? I'll join you."

'_Hmm…I guess It'd be okay._' Kazuya thought and turned to Lee. "Sure. Now out of my way!" then he stormed off.

"Hey wait!" Lee shouted, catching up, still clad with only his trunks.

Now there are four contestants. King doesn't know this though. Then the characters will soon encounter different characters to join in with them! So just find out in the next chapter…**I WANT TO JOIN TOO!**

-o-o-o-

**A/N:** See? It's a no-sense fic! LOL! If you want to know what happens next then…REVIEW!


	5. CATFIGHT

**A/N:** LOL…

-o-o-o-

_**Their Predictions**_

_**By: Elie**_

-o-o-o-

Steve was sick of his fans teasing him of being a biological son of one of the world's most top leading dominatrix in assassination history – that was when they immediately got the wind about it after the party last night.

Blood hell.

"Hey son, wait up!" Lei called, but Steve ignored him. "Say, why don't we have a father and son bonding today?"

Steve stopped walking and froze. He looked at Lei and blinked. "What?"

Lei winked. "I'll bring some booze – but promise me you wouldn't tell my headquarters back in Hong Kong about it."

"No bloody way!" Steve cried, clenching his teeth. He inhaled a few breaths first. "First off – you are not my father, just look at my amazing blonde hair and to-die-for jaw-line. And last – Nina – I mean, mum wouldn't even fall for you in the first place!"

"Huh, what did you say?" Lei asked stupidly. He was conveniently using his pinky finger to wax his ear. "Sorry, I wasn't listening. This earwax really is big – and it smells." He added, letting Steve see a big, sticky yellow mass thing. Major YUCK.

Unable to take it anymore, Steve ran away as fast as he could and settled on a bench far from that weirdo cop claiming to be his father. _'Oh shit. Things really are screwed this morning. First, the toilet in my room wouldn't flush –fuck that, now my room stinks. Second, I didn't wear my lucky underwear coz I need to wash it today – it's been a week of wearing that. Lastly, there goes that fucking bastard – I don't want to hear crap from him again!'_

Out of the blue, Jin and Hwoarang suddenly passed by hand in hand. Steve stared at them, horrified.

"What in this homosexual dominated world are you two doing?" He asked in shock. "I thought you were bloody rivals!"

Jin wanted to say something in protest until his eyes led him first to his right hand – and Hallelujah – it was intertwined comfortably with Hwoarang's.

"Uh…Dude, what are our hands doing?' Jin's eyes were wide open.

Hwoarang looked down on the same spot. "Ahhhh! What the fuck are we doing?"

"Like I know for sure – you gay!" Jin scoffed, twirling his bangs like the real gay.

"Ew! Kazama germs!" Hwoarang madly cried, running around the garden in search for water. When he found a small fountain with a cupid sculpture looking as if it was taking a piss, he jumped for joy and placed his palm over the crotch area of the cupid.

"Fuck you." Jin muttered to Hwoarang, and then turned to Steve. "By the way man, wanna join us?"

"Are you building another charity project for the poor or sickly again? You know what mate, I couldn't even afford to buy a new lucky underwear so-"

"It's called WHOEVER KISSES KING WINS – it's easy." Hwoarang interrupted after he had washed the _Kazama germs_ off.

"I'd rather order myself a slut." Steve said casually.

"Ha." Jin rolled his eyes. "You don't even have the money to buy a new brief, how much if it was a whore?"

Steve shrugged, giving in to Jin's point. But he was curious. "What would be the prize then?"

"Nothing – I just want to fight Kazama after this race." Hwoarang interrupted the _second_ time.

"Nobody asked you." Jin and Steve chorused.

Jin started to clear his throat. "I was on this race with my _satanic gay_ father. We agreed to show our _macho_ side by being the first to kiss-"

Steve shook his head. "Wai- wait! What do you mean by _macho_? Guys! Just admit you're _gays_!"

"We're not _gays_! Well, Kazuya is, and maybe Jin – but I'm not!" Hwoarang yelled.

Steve laughed it off. "Come on pal – I won't tell Julia…"

All of a sudden, Jin cried. "Xiaoyu thinks I'm a fucking _gay_ too!"

Hwoarang snorted. "Coz you are _gay_ – gay."

"You – bitch!" Jin growled like an angry woman. He grabbed Hwoarang by the shirt and hurled him on the ground.

And then, instead of giving Hwoarang a hard punch, he stretched his hand out and then – slapped Hwoarang square on the face, leaving a visible red hand mark.

As soon as he stood up, Hwoarang snatched his robe's string and pulled it.

"Oh my!" Hwoarang unconsciously squealed. "I mean, cool – err…it's kinda bigger than mine."

Steve on the other hand, resisted the urge to slap himself on the forehead. _'This fight's not going anywhere…' _he thought.

Jin pulled the string back and tied it around his waist again, now even tighter. "You fucking perverted gay!" he shouted.

"I am not!" Hwoarang retorted, pulling Jin down with him.

Steve was the one sweating furiously now. "Okay that's enough guys –"

He was cut off by Jin's elbow accidentally hitting his knee. "Ow! Mother fu-"

Hwoarang grabbed handfuls of Jin's hair and banged his head on the grass floor. Jin grunted while grasping Hwoarang's shirt. His other hand tore it off as the other pulled Hwoarang's hair. He switched their positions so that he was now on top. He punched Hwoarang's nose, grabbed his head, and then banged it on the ground.

"Good Lord…" Steve gasped. In his life, he never saw two hot men brawling like sexy vixens on the floor.

But then, he snickered to himself. He inhaled a deep breath and then shouted–

"CATFIGHT!"

…

Xiaoyu, Julia and Jun stopped walking and then looked at each other. Jun was the first to make a statement.

"What is there, a fight?"

Julia grinned slyly. "Ooh…not just any fight –"

"A catfight!" Xiaoyu and Jun squealed in unison.

Julia ran ahead of them. "Let's go see!"

…

"Just shut the hell up you freaking bastard." Kazuya groaned, tired of constantly having to stay away from Lee.

Lee didn't have the heart to frown. "Ah, you're just so insecure because you know it yourself: I'm gonna win this race."

Kazuya stared at him, emotionless "Fuck you."

"That is so incest, evil brother dear." Lee said sexily.

Kazuya crackled his knuckles. "Why you little –"

Fortunately, Kazuya was cut off by the sight of Steve Fox, cheering and howling like a cheerleader. Lee praised the Lord and said, "Hey, why don't we look over there first, eh?"

…

Jin constantly grabbed and pulled Hwoarang's hair, determined to get Hwoarang bald.

"Wohoo! Go Jinny!" Steve cheered in the left side with his girly voice.

Hwoarang pressed his knee on Jin's chest and tipped him off him, regaining his spot on top. His hand reached for his pocket, and, pulled out a mini-razor! "It's now payback time, fag! Nyahaha!"

Steve ran to the right side, "Yahoo! Go Hwoarang baby!" he cheered like Anna's provoking voice while shaking his booty – when Anna appeared out of nowhere and kicked him on the crotch.

"Oww! What was that for, bitch?" Steve grunted, touching little _Elmo _protectively.

"How dare you copy my trademark pose, dumbass?" Anna growled, lunging over Steve until they fell on the ground alongside with Jin and Hwoarang.

Xiaoyu, Julia, and Jun arrived at the scene. Julia was the first to flinch. "Holy shit! Is that my sweetheart?"

"Jin Kazama?" Xiaoyu gasped. "Why…are you in a… catfight?"

Jun stared at Xiaoyu and for a while, she realized that it was her long lost son. "Oh my, is that really Jin?"

"Yeah, isn't he drop dead gorgeous?" Xiaoyu inserted. Jun stared at her like, what the fuck? Then, she continued to sob.

Julia saw Kazuya and lee approaching too and waved at them. "Hey guys! Let's all support Hwoarang!"

Kazuya snorted. "Yeah, right- Like I would support my son of a bitch son, ever."

"Then I'll go support Jin if you don't want to. After all, he's hotter." Lee seductively ran a hand through his silver hair.

Kazuya couldn't help but stare at him in disgust before rephrasing the statement. "For your info, I'm hotter, sexier, and prettier."

Lee raised an eyebrow. "You are so not!"

"Look in the mirror, biatch." Kazuya suddenly held out his handy-dandy mirror and directed it toward Lee.

Lee screamed in horror, but then realized that it was just him after all. He felt so embarrassed. "That mirror is such a liar! Maybe you bought it from the House of Mirrors! Give me that!"

Julia twitched her brows as Kazuya quickly hid the mirror before Lee could even snatch it. _'Damn homos…'_

"Ugh! You -bitch!" Lee roared, catching Kazuya off-guard. He lunged forward but Kazuya stepped an inch away, making him land on the ground.

"Ha! Who's the bitch now?" Kazuya laughed.

"Of course, you - asshole!" Lee pulled Kazuya's feet, making him land on the grass too.

Xiaoyu hopped over to Julia while her eyes remained attached to two sexy adult men banging and destroying each other's handsome faces. "Hey, what's up with these two?"

Jun followed, but when she saw Kazuya –

"Kazzy, it's you!" She screamed in joy.

Kazuya stopped slapping Lee's face and turned to see whose voice it was. He turned horrified. "No…not you woman!"

"Oh, I've missed you so much!" Jun squealed, spreading her arms out and then let her body fall over Kazuya's. She hugged him like never letting go. Lee mumbled a 'thanks', pulling out a comb and automatically combed his hair.

"Aww…" Xiaoyu stared at the two lovers (maybe) in awe. Her attention suddenly turned towards Hwoarang's muffled scream.

Jin pulled again some grass and continued to stuff it inside Hwoarang's mouth. Hwoarang constantly spit it out and tried kicking Jin on the crotch. Jin blocked him and placed hands over his mouth to shut him up.

Xiaoyu ran up to them and cried, "Jin, what are you doing?"

As Jin looked up to her and was about to say something, Hwoarang finally hit his crotch. Hwoarang rolled him over so that he was on top. And, he did the same thing.

Xiaoyu stared at Hwoarang in horror. "Hey, stop-"

She smiled. "Okay, feed him like a pig! Bwahahaha!"

Jin's eyes screamed like: WHY YOU BITCH! HOW DARE YOU BETRAY ME!

Anna knew that Steve was Nina's biological son, so doing _this_ would be for revenge against her sister. Now that their position was like that of a pig - Anna sitting on top of Steve's back. She took out an apple from her purse, polished it, and shoved it inside Steve's mouth. Then, she took her whip, tested it on the ground first, and then –

"Now, for the real thing." Anna murmured seductively. Then, her whip was like –

"MOTHER FUCKER!"

Julia closed her eyes for Steve and then turned to Hwoarang. "Go Hwoarang!"

"Thanks Xiao, babe." Hwoarang said, still busy feeding Jin with grass like a pig.

Julia glared at him. "It's Julia, SWEETHEART!"

She shrugged. "I hate you." Then, she jumped over to Jin and Hwoarang.

"You're hurting them, fatass!" Xiaoyu cried, pulling Julia up from them. "Get- you're –fat-ass off!"

"I'm not fat!" Julia growled, pulling Xiaoyu along with them.

Lee sighed and then decided to get the hell out of this situation so to finally kiss King and have him for himself. He quietly crept from them when –

"Where do you think you're going?" Kazuya asked, struggling for air under Jun's hold.

Jin spat the grass from his mouth and then gasped for breath, turning to Lee. "That's not fair, jackass."

"Right…" All of them yelled.

With the use of her whip, Anna pulled Lee down. "Attack!"

Everybody got up and hurled themselves over Lee, squashing him on the ground.

Meanwhile, King was just passing by while whistling happily. "Huh? What's going on?"

Kazuya caught sight of him. "People! There he is!

Lee's eyes shot up. "And I am so first to kiss-" he was cut off by Jin's foot stomping on his face.

"See you later losers!" Jin shouted and then ran up to King.

"No freaking way!" Hwoarang grunted as Kazuya (with Jun still attached to him) stepped on him too.

"Get off me woman!" Kazuya groaned while catching after Jin.

Lee was now looking like a rotten tomato. He struggled getting up. And then he followed them like a limp.

Xiaoyu and Julia were left frustrated.

"I think we should follow them, too." Julia said.

Xiaoyu nodded. "Yep."

And then the two of them were off.

….

**A/N**: Now review please.


	6. DEATH?

**A/N:** LOL…thanks for the wicked reviews!

-o-o-o-

_**Their Predictions**_

**_By: Elie_**

-o-o-o-

Heihachi was leisurely walking toward the poolside, clad with his black swimming trunks and a bow tie in his neck.

Well, sorry people, if you think that he was wearing the bow tie because he was Lee's slave or something, then you're totally wrong.

- He wore it because he liked it.

"Now, what brand of sunscreen should I use?" he spoke to himself as he brought along a small basket containing all sorts of beauty products.

King passed by while whistling happily to himself. He stopped short and stared at Heihachi applying lotion to his thighs. He stuck out his tongue in disgust, and continued to walk.

All of a sudden, Jin was frantically running up to him, still clad in a bathrobe.

"Hey gramps, where did King go?" he asked.

Heihachi blinked. "Why?"

Jin sweated. "None of your business…"

Heihachi rolled his eyes and continued to smear lotion up to his face. "Then, I won't tell you, you good for nothing grandchild."

When Jin was about to grab the nearest tanning bench and smack his grandfather with it, Paul arrived, riding a brand new TOYOTA motorcycle…SWEET!

"Hey dudes, what's up?" Paul said randomly as he hopped out of his bike.

He and Jin gave each other a high-five, before turning to Heihachi.

eihachiJHe

"Nice ride…how much is it?" Jin asked, his eyes bulging.

Paul smirked. "Marshall's whole business…well ANYWAY, forget about that. I'm just wondering what you guys were doing earlier when I passed by. And I just saw Lee crying like bitch!"

Heihachi was so busy mesmerizing at Paul that he forgot to smear the lotion in his face thoroughly. So, he probably looked like a grandma with a facial mask.

Jin cringed. "Uh…actually, we were just playing….DODGEBALL!"

Then suddenly, a ball went flying behind Paul. He and Jin dodged it easily, but it hit Heihachi right at the face.

Heihachi fell with the lotion in his face perfectly mixed with the blood dripping from his nose.

"Whoever threw that was a FUCKING MORON!" Heihachi yelled, wiping his face.

Jin and Paul nodded in agreement. Then, Heihachi got an idea!

He intentionally tripped over and landed on Paul, until they fell on the ground. He giggled innocently, "Oh, my…"

"Get your fat ass off me! Kuma, help me!" Paul cried.

Heihachi and Jin's faces turned purple.

"What do you mean?" Jin asked.

"You…like my BEAR?" Heihachi added, horrified.

Paul shoved Heihachi off him, stood up, and ran away crying, "Ha! YOU CAN"T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT! RIGHT NOW, I'M GONNA RAPE HIM ONCE AND FOR ALL!"

So, he ran away laughing like a total jackass. But, Kazuya was there all along – hiding behind the bushes with Jun still clinging on to him.

"Get off me, bitch." He muttered. But Jun just giggled from out of the blue.

He rolled his eyes and jumped out the bush, shouting, "NOOO! I CAN"T LET PAUL RAPE MY KUMA! WAWAWAWAWAWAWA!"

Jun slapped him. "Get your priorities straight, man," she said randomly.

Lee ran into the scene, still crying. "Why my face? Why?"

Hwoarang came next. "Now, where's King?"

Julia and Xiaoyu came hopping after. Correction: Uh, Xiaoyu was the only one hopping while Julia was cat walking…

"So, Julia and I have decided to join the WHOEVER KISSES KING WINS race!" Xiaoyu announced giddily.

Julia continued, "And, we're so excited to win!"

Heihachi's eyes beamed. "What? A race? I want to join too!"

"Okay, that's cool, so, like, all of us are joining?" Hwoarang interrupted.

Jin jumped. "Yeah, right on!"

Lee stopped crying, and then turned into an evil…PERSON!

"BWAHAHAHA!"

He took out a machine gun from out of nowhere and began shooting the fighters.

"DIE YOU FUCKING RATS! NYAHAHAHAHA!" he cried.

So, everyone fell…but, they didn't die. They just fell on the ground and closed their eyes. That's all.

Then, Lee ran away to pursue King on his own, when Asuka arrived carrying a samurai sword.

"Who are you?" Lee asked.

Asuka whistled, and the whole AMAZING RACE camera crew came behind her in an instant.

"Yes, Miss Kazama?" The camera man asked.

"Get ready to shoot!" Asuka yelled.

The director immediately instructed the crew to get ready. "IN THREE…TWO…ONE…ACTION!"

"I'm here today at my so-called homosexual grandfather's mansion, to host the WHOEVER KISSES KING WINS race!" Asuka began, "And, beside me is Lee Chaolan who has just seemed to murder the entire contestants!"

She went closer to Lee and said, "So, Mr. Chaolan, what can you say because you've murdered the entire contestants…Well, except your own selfish, good for nothing, homosexual, self?"

"I think I'm gonna WIN! YEY ME!" Lee chirped.

Asuka smiled brightly, but then, she snickered. She pulled out the sword, stabbed Lee, and then laughed.

"So, I think no one's gonna win!" She beamed to the camera.

Hwoarang's fingers began to move. Jin's eyes fluttered open. Xiaoyu began to wiggle. Kazuya started to snore. Jun peed unconsciously. Heihachi chewed the fly he had unconsciously swallowed…and…and…

Steve arrived with an ambulance!

"Bloody hell…what happened?" he mumbled to himself.

"Take this asshole too," Asuka ordered the nurse, kicking Lee on the ground.

Then, she instructed the camera to focus at her.

"So, the real contest proper begins tomorrow, if they still manage to survive. And, that's it for now. I'm your host, Asuka Kazama, for the WHOEVER KISSES KING WINS race!"

After that, she took a deep breath, and threw the microphone at the director's head.

**TBC**

So, who do you want to win the race? By the way, Yoshimitsu, Feng and Raven are joining too!

-o-o-o-

**A/N:** So, the next chapter is going to be all about the **WHOEVER KISSES KING WINS **race! Please Review!


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